jatuh lagi

not again.?

aku jatuh lagi

buat lagi.

aku tahu, kalau buat dosa, tak perlu diheboh2kan. kalau tuhan hijabkan aib kita, kenapa nak buka.

bukan aku nak buka. lagipun, anonymous. so xpela.

mungkin aku x cukuup benci lagi.

or is this all just another hypocrisy?

i hope no one else has to be like me. i have almost everything to wish for. but still.. that's me. a weekling.

nabi saw kata, kalau buat dosa, ikuti dgn kebaikan. itu pon aku slalu bwt. sbb harapkan kebaikan2 yg ak bwt tu akan jadikan aku cenderung ke arah kebaikan. 

but still, dtas not enough.

nabi saw kata, kalau kawan dgn org baik2 terpalit la sikit kebaikan mereka (hadith minyak wangi) so aku buat. Terpalit la sikit. Still ....

Allah tolong lah hamba mu ini. 

or is this another hypocrisy?

syahid impianku? syurga tujuanku? jauh lagi kot.....

barangkali ini satu ujian dari Allah. Setiap orang dengan ujian masing - masing. Mungkin ini ujian aku. Mungkin kalau aku lepas ujian ni, aku boleh jadi org yg lebih kuat.

cita-cita ku nak ubah umat. tapi nampak gaya, saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangat jauh lagi.

satu hadith yang aku terbaca

Narrated Al-Harith bin Suwaid:

'Abdullah bin Mas'ud related to us two narrations: One from the Prophet and the other from himself, saying: A believer sees his sins as if he were sitting under a mountain which, he is afraid, may fall on him; whereas the wicked person considers his sins as flies passing over his nose and he just drives them away like this." Abu Shihab (the sub-narrator) moved his hand over his nose in illustration. (Ibn Mas'ud added): Allah's Apostle said, "Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His slave than a man who encamps at a place where his life is jeopardized, but he has his riding beast carrying his food and water. He then rests his head and sleeps for a short while and wakes to find his riding beast gone. (He starts looking for it) and suffers from severe heat and thirst or what Allah wished (him to suffer from). He then says, 'I will go back to my place.' He returns and sleeps again, and then (getting up), he raises his head to find his riding beast standing beside him.

at least, im still afraid of my sins. so insyaAllah ada harapan lagi.

still, mcm agak hipokrit.

pernah kadang2 aku fikir

bwt taubat bwt taubat.

lps tu teringat yang ayat psl org yg beriman pstu kafir pstu beriman pstu kafir ....

apela nk jd dgn aku.

kdg2 fikir jgk apa guna semua ni?

but then kwn pernh ckp. rasanya its frm a hadith or quran . x sure. essence die, Allah is what we think of him. N about bersangka buruk terhadap Allah.

Tapi Allah tu maha pengampun. Tapi, aku je yang abuse that. Mcm mana nak kuatkan hati?

Quran aku baca, kadang - kadang satu juzuk satu hari. Kadang2 sambil baca sambil menangis. Tapi buat jugak benda ni.

What laa

Bloody hypocrite!!